Sunday, January 24, 2010

Introduction ('05-'09)

I've got rough demos of six tracks for my EP. I was planning on making this track the final one, but finally decided to scrap it.

I started this track back in like 2006, without any concrete plan. I think at first it was going to be a collection of quotables, just stuff I had scribbled down and stuck to my wall and shit like that. Started working on it again late last year, sort of reapproaching it as a way of showing where I've been since 2006 when I quit. The idea I had was to make the first verse about how I got started, back when I was called "EOC" and then "Axis" and played with King Armadillo. Then maybe second verse when I caught the glandular. And the final verse as like a re-introduction to the here and now.

I busted my gut for a couple of days but wasn't happy with the results. From the start I didn't know if I was a good idea to include this track with my new work. With all my new stuff, I sort of have a rule when everything has to be a story and I'm not just saying shit to be saying it. I'm not really interested in just talking, and speaking as myself directly anymore. I want each track to be a complete thing with no unecessary shit. I want it to be subtle and not too blatant.

This track isn't like that. It was very blatant. Just me saying shit plainly. And the problem was I couldn't tell if it was any good or just over sentimental.

I listened over to a ton of other tracks I was trying to replicate with this, like "All Things to All Men" by the Cinematic Orchestra, "Cellepram" by Horrorshow, a bunch of tracks talking frankly about depression etc really frankly. I still love those tracks. But I didn't know if I could pull it off.

Finally, I decided to scrap it. I was reworking a dead horse. There's a few lines in here I like, but honestly my heart wasn't in it. All I'm really interested in working in is tracks for my new album. I actually WANT to sit down and write those stories, so why am I busting my balls doing this shit?

So, fuck it, the track will remain unheard. I figured I'd post what I'd got so far since it'll never be recorded. It's a mess, very rough, but hopefully you'll see what I was playing around with.

Chorus:

Fought for theory
Learnt some lessons
Sought for answers
But ended up with questions

I once thought
These days were without blessing
But I was wrong
(Cause life is just an introduction)

Fought for theory
Learnt some lessons
Sought for answers
But ended up with questions

I once thought
These days were without blessing
But I was wrong
(Cause life is just an introduction)


Verse Two:

And so let me introduce myself
_
Feel free to call me Chris
Like peace, nice to meet ya

(But) Experience tells
The greeting’s not as civil
When you’re surrounded by six men
And bleeding on the pavement

I picked up a pen
And aimed for containment
But the words stayed inside
And I just wrote out the same shit

Lame shit
Wack proclamations of a deranged kid
Got the shit in my brain on lock
But couldn’t frame it

Now the fact remains
On the day I was robbed
The only cost
Was in lost serotonin


Verse Three:

And so let me introduce myself
_
A man who took three years
To write like three fucking verses

I lost a dope flow
Stopped rocking clothes with logos
Some call me gaijin
They used to call me gweilo

But I stayed on my grind
Mind curling with obsession
(I) felt all the symptoms
But missed the fucking message

A bruised mind stressing
Accused of half stepping
But that don’t mean shit
When I’m half man and half depression

(In my) Younger days
(I) Confused denial with composure
Told myself that if life hurts
Then it’s supposed to

Just a lonely ghost
Stuck waiting for the closer
Too hopeless
To plunge the knife into the toaster

(So) when I breathe my last breath
And the cancer finally takes me
I’ll say: “fuck life”
And finally break free

Until then
I be harbouring regret
So before the illness comes
I’ll shout: “fuck death”


I had a longer version of that second verse, but I guess I didn't save it.

I also played around with this order, I dunno what's good...


And so let me introduce myself
_
Feel free to call me Chris
Like peace, nice to meet ya

Experience tells
The greeting’s not as kind
When you’re surrounded by six men
And bleeding on the pavement

I picked up a pen
And aimed for containment
Couldn’t say I meant
So I just wrote out the same shit

Lame shit
Wack proclamations of a deranged kid
Thought I knew it all
But I barely knew a fucking thing

See younger days
Confused denial with composure
Told myself that if life hurts
Then it’s supposed to

Just a lonely ghost
Stuck waiting for the closer
Too hopeless
To plunge the knife into the toaster

So I stayed on my grind
Mind curling with obsession
(I) felt all the symptoms
But missed the fucking message

A bruised mind stressing
Accused of half stepping
But I’ll go one better yo
I’m half man and half depression

And so let me introduce myself
_
But yo what’s in a name
It doesn’t matter anyway

Some things change
But the rest stays the same
Wondering why am I sick
To my stomach each day

I lost my dope flow
Stopped rocking clothes with logos
Now some call me gaijin
They used to call me gweilo

And I don’t believe
In heaven or hell _
But if you heed the creed
May it serve you well

(So) when I breathe my last breath
And the cancer finally takes me
I’ll say: “fuck life”
And finally break free

Until then
I be harbouring regret
So before the illness comes
I’ll shout: “fuck death”

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